


There's Always A Way Back

by dontruinmystorywithyourlogic



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Eventual violence, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Reader Has Powers, Reader Insert, Tagging as I go, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-04-11 09:08:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4429538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontruinmystorywithyourlogic/pseuds/dontruinmystorywithyourlogic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ex-HYRDA Asset turned Avenger, you've adjusted pretty well to life in the tower. That is until your past tries to catch up with you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Movie Night

Sprawled out on a sofa in one of the small living rooms of Avengers tower, you were completely engrossed in the cheesy romantic comedy you had picked for yours and Natasha's weekly movie night.

"This is such a bad movie [y/n]" The red head sighed from beside you.

"I know isn't it great?" You said taking your eyes of the screen to grin at Natasha who, despite her vocal distain was just as engrossed as you were. "Its soooo romantic" You gestured dramatically, pretending to swoon in your seat.

"Surely you get enough romance from Barnes?" She teased waggling her eyebrows at you. Mock-gasping in offense you leaned forward and grabbed the cushion from behind you and threw it at her face. Being the Black Widow, her lightning fast reflexes meant she merely plucked it out of the air seconds before it hit her face and effortlessly tossed it back at you.

"Nice try though" She smirked as you let the cushion hit you in the face and pretended to fall backwards from the sheer force of the throw.

"Now now Nat, I could've stopped that if I wanted to" You laughed.

"Indeed but can you stop it without your powers? I'm not too sure" 

"Challenge accepted" You said standing up and arming yourself with a cushion, the movie on the television long forgotten. Natasha had just started to hurl cushion after cushion at you, which by the way you were expertly dodging, when Tony burst through the door clutching a bottle of amber colored liquid.

"Excuse me ladies! As much as I hate to interrupt ladies night, which looks mighty interesting by the way, we have something to celebrate" The billionaire said sailing over to the sofa, collapsing in the middle of it. Exchanging a confused look with Natasha, you both followed perching on each arm of the chair.

"So what exactly are we celebrating Tony?" You asked as Tony took a long swig from the bottle.

"What are we celebrating?! How could you forget? It’s one year to the day since you moved into the tower and your life got a whole lot better!"

"That’s gotta be the understatement of the century" You chuckled looking across at Natasha. "Has it really been a year?" Natasha looked thoughtful for a minute before nodding.

"Starks right. You moved in one year ago today" She said smiling fondly at you.

"Now before we all start getting emotional about how amazing I am for moving you into my tower you need a drink" Tony said shoving the now half empty bottle at you. Smiling to yourself you took a long sip as your mind drifted, recalling the events of the last year.

 

* * *

 

One year ago you had been holed up on a HYDRA base somewhere in the middle of Europe. You didn’t know the exact location and you had lost track of how long you had been there. Taken from your family at the age of 12 you had been passed off to a group of scientists who had performed a range of experiments on you, trying to turn you into an enhanced. After nearly a year of trying they finally succeeded, their sick experiments resulting in you gaining the ability to create force fields with your mind. Aside from the experimentation they also put you through a brutal training regime turning you into one of their top assets.

To keep you under their control they brainwashed you but unlike HYRDA's other assets you never had all of your memories wiped. Fear of disrupting your powers by messing with your mind stopped them from wiping you but it didn’t stop them from using the machine on you. One of HYDRA's top scientists had discovered they could use the same machine to make you stronger. To make your powers stronger. That was the process you had been going through the day The Avengers breached the base. Rescuing you from HYDRA they had assumed you were a prisoner and had taken you back to Avengers tower only for you to wake up and attack everyone in sight.

Fast forward a couple of months and they had all helped you understand what had happened to you and made you feel a part of their rather dysfunctional family. One person in particular had been very helpful in undoing the HYDRA programming and showing you how to accept what had happened and that person was Bucky Barnes. Your relationship had developed quickly, the level of understanding he could give you bringing you great comfort. To start off with it was nothing more than platonic until a couple of months ago. Long nights plagued with nightmares and long training sessions with the team left you exhausted and had fallen asleep with your head on his lap. Waking up the next morning you had apologized, embarrassed for what you had accidently done the night before. The conversation that had followed ended with Bucky pressing a firm kiss to your lips just as Tony walked into the room causing him to wolf whistle in your direction before loudly announcing what he had seen to the whole tower.

 

* * *

 

 

"That’s enough [y/n]" Natasha said jarring you from your thoughts. "My turn"

"A toast to you guys" You said passing the bottle over to Natasha. "Thanks for everything, you've helped me way more than I deserve... so yeah" You cleared your throat slightly. Natasha raised the bottle in your direction before finishing it off.

"For an ex assassin you're really sappy" Tony joked nudging your knee with his hand. Reaching over to Natasha he went to take his bottle back. "Really Romanov you had to finish my booze? If you'll excuse me ladies I must find some more" You both watched Tony leave before sliding back onto the seat of the sofa. Looking at the television you realized the credits to the movie were currently flashing on screen.

"Aw we missed the end!" You said grabbing the remote and winding the movie back to where you had been before you had started hurling cushions at each other.

"I could just tell you how it ends" Natasha said leaning back into the chair as she stretched her legs out on to your lap.

"Don’t even think about it! No spoilers! I need to watch this myself, some of us still have years of movies to catch up on you know" You said semi-seriously.

"You are hilariously adorable sometimes [y/n]"

"I know, it’s why you love me" You grinned at her before returning your full attention to the screen.

As the credits started to roll you stretched your arms out in front of you. "Well that was amazing! That is my favorite movie" you said pointing at the screen.

"You say that about every movie we watch [y/n]"

"What can I say? I have a lot of favorites" You laughed. Shaking her head slightly, Natasha lifted her legs off of you and stood up.

"Come on" She said offering you a hand to pull you up off of the sofa. "You've got early morning training tomorrow, time for bed"

"Yes mother" You joked. "You realize that means you have early morning training too though?" You trailed behind Natasha as she led you towards the elevator.

"Yes but I could kick your ass half asleep. You need to be well rested so you can attempt to kick my ass" Natasha smiled slyly at you as she pressed the button to open the door.

"Hey now I've pinned you almost as much as you've pinned me!" You said leaning against the elevator wall.

"You keep telling yourself that" She pressed the floor number where both of your rooms were located before leaning next to you. After a moment of companionable silence the elevator pinged as it reached your floor. You gave Natasha a quick hug goodnight before walking down the hall towards your bedroom. "Say good night to Barnes for me!" Natasha called before she disappeared into her room.

Laughing you opened your door expecting to find Bucky laying on your bed, a habit he had gotten into after Natasha had repeatedly kicked him out of your movie nights. Much to your surprise however your room was empty.

"Hey JARVIS do you know where Bucky is?" You asked flopping down onto the bed.

"Sergeant Barnes is currently in the lab with Mr Stark and Captain Rogers. Would you like me to call him for you?" The AI answered from above.

"No thank you JARVIS. I'll go and find him in a minute" Closing your eyes, you lay in the middle of your bed listening to the silence of your room. After a few moments you drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So this is my first attempt at writing fan fiction and sharing it so please bear with me!  
> Any constructive criticism or feedback is appreciated :)  
> I hope you like it and it doesn't suck too much!


	2. Secrets and Lies

A few hours had passed when you groggily opened your eyes. Rubbing them as you sat up, you looked over at the clock by your bed. It was almost three in the morning. Glancing behind you, you realized you were still alone. Slowly you got up off of your bed, left your room and headed towards the elevator. Pushing the button to take you to the lab, you leaned against the elevator wall wondering what Bucky was doing up there at this hour.

With a soft ding the elevator opened to the lab. Bucky was stood in the middle of the room arguing with Steve and Natasha about something. Tony, Clint, Bruce and Thor were stood around the room watching them warily. They were all dressed ready for a mission.

"I get where you're coming from Steve, I do but I’m telling you its better if we don’t tell-" You heard Bucky as you stepped out of the elevator.

"So where's the party? And why wasn't I invited?" You asked folding your arms as you were met with some awkward glances as everyone turned to look at Steve and Bucky, who were both looking guilty and looking everywhere but at you. "Where are you guys going?" You tried again.

"We've just got the location of another HYRDA base” Steve said clearing his throat. "We thought you were asleep, Bucky didn't want to wake you unless it was necessary" You narrowed your eyes at Bucky who shot a glare at his best friend.

"Give me five minutes to change. I'm coming too" You said to Steve before grabbing Bucky's metal arm and pulling him with you. "And you. You are coming with me so I know you don't try and leave without me"

Bucky let you pull him towards the elevator, looking over his shoulder glaring as he shook his head at your teammates. Dragging him inside the elevator you pushed the button for the armoury a bit too forcefully before turning to look at him, folding your arms again.

"Ok what the hell was that?" You asked.

"What was what?" Bucky replied innocently as he watched the elevator screen countdown the floor numbers.

"You were about to go on a raid without me. You know how much taking down HYRDA means to me. Why would you go on one with me?"

"We're not going on one without you. You're coming aren't you?" The elevator dinged and he stepped out and started walking towards the armoury door.

"Yeah now. Because I said I was coming" You rolled your eyes and followed him to the door. After he had keyed in his entry code to the room, the key pad let out a small beep before you pushed pass him into the armoury. “Bucky didn't want to wake you unless it was necessary" You mimicked Steve as you walked towards your section. You placed your hand on the scanner to the right of the tall metal container holding your gear. A small light flashed green before the door slowly slid up revealing your clothes and rows of various weapons.

"That was a pretty good Steve impression" Bucky said flashing a trademark smirk at you, hoping you would drop the conversation.

"Don't change the subject" You pulled your mission clothes off of their hangers. Your uniform was of a similar design to Bucky's- black top, cargo pants, boots, body armour and an array of weapons. The only difference was the black top you had picked when you joined the team was hooded. "Why did you want to keep this raid from me?" You asked again anger quickly building up within you. This wasn't like Bucky to keep things from you, especially HYDRA related things. You pulled off your clothes and began to change as you waited for him to answer. After you had put your clothes on you strapped the armour to your chest and shoved your feet into your boots. You turned to face him looking at him expectantly. He was leaning against the wall smirking to himself slightly. If you hadn't been so angry you would've blushed.

"Goddamnit why won't you answer me?!" You practically shouted at him causing him to raise an eyebrow at you.

"What do you want me to say? You were asleep. What was the point in waking you if you weren’t needed?" He said calmly.

"That is complete and utter bullcrap and you know it!" You turned back around and grabbed your body armour angrily strapping it on. Picking up various guns you slid them into your holsters before picking up a few knives and hiding the on various places on your body. "What are you hiding from me?!" You were shouting now as you spun around to face him.

"Nothing" Bucky replied his voice eerily calm. He moved from where he was leaning and stood up straight. You didn't know whether it was the calmness of his voice or his blatant lies but something inside you snapped at his answer.

"перестань лгать! (Stop lying!)" You shouted. You were breathing heavily now and your fingers were starting to twitch slightly.

"[y/n] you need to calm down" Bucky said raising his voice slightly but keeping his tone firm and calm. He stepped in front of you but was careful not to touch you in case he aggravated you further.

"я спокоен (I am calm)" You snarled at him.

"No you aren't. You're slipping, you need to calm down"

You stood there glaring at him at him for what seemed like an eternity. He kept saying your name and telling you to breathe and calm down. All you could think about was how he lied to you. He reached out and hesitantly placed his metal hand on your arm. The coolness of the metal through your clothes seemed to jolt you out of your trance. Blinking a couple of times, you shook your head slightly.

"Bucky?"

"[y/n]" He breathed a shirt sigh of relief. "Thought I was losing you for a moment then Doll"

"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I just couldn't shake my anger, it was like someone flicked a switch" You looked at the floor in embarrassment.

"Hey it’s okay" Bucky pulled you into a tight hug before he pulled away to look you in the eye. "I'm sorry if you think I'm hiding stuff from you. It’s just I thought it might be better for you if you didn't know but clearly that’s out of the question now. The base we're going to raid it’s the one where we found you. They rebuilt it" He watched you carefully as he spoke.

"Oh" was all you said.

"Going back there, we don’t know what that could trigger [y/n]. I wanted to protect you"

You took a deep breath in before you spoke. "I appreciate you looking out for me Bucky, I do. I don’t appreciate the fact you lied to me. I think I'm gonna be pissed about that for a while" You gave him a small smile.

"I expect nothing less" He interjected, smirking at you.

"I still want to come on the raid. I understand the risks and whilst that little episode says otherwise, I am in control" You said balling your hands into fists, ignoring the slight twitching you still felt in your hands and the undertones of anger still floating around your head.

"I'm not going to win if I ask you to stay in the tower am I?" You shook your head once, no. "What if I get Steve to order you to stay?" This time you raised an eyebrow at him. "Okay, fine come. But if I think for one minute something's off you get your ass in the quinjet as soon as I say so. Nothing is worth you slipping"

You opened your mouth to argue but there was something about the look on Bucky's face. It was full of concern but there was something else. You couldn’t decide if you were imagining it or not but you had a sneaky suspicion that he was hiding something else from you. Brushing it off for now you nodded at him.

"As soon as you say"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are liking this so far :)  
> Please let me know if there's any typos or errors and I'll fix them.


	3. Mission Time

After you and Bucky had left the armoury you had both gone back up to the lab and followed the rest of the team out to the quinjet.

Sitting down on one of the seats lining the side of the jet, you leant back against the cool metal frame and focused on a spot on the wall opposite you as you absentmindly listened to everything around you. At the front of the quinjet Clint and Natasha settled into the pilot's seats, Steve and Tony hovering behind them as they manouvered the jet out of the tower and into the sky. Bucky had sat down next you whilst the other Avengers all stood just in front of the row of seats.

"ETA's about two hours time, stealth software is activated" Clint said flicking a switch on the jets control board. "Not that it'll do us any good once we breach. They aren't going to go quietly; they never do"

"Based on the chatter SHIELD picked up this base has only been active for a couple of weeks so it shouldn't be too much of a problem" Steve said leaning against the frame of the quinjet.

"I wouldn't put anything past them Steve" Bucky interjected. "Couple of weeks is nothing to them. Who knows what they've started down there" He quickly glanced at you out of the corner of his eye but you were to engrossed with the wall to notice.

"You know whats bugging me though?" Tony said crossing his arms. "We've crossed this one off of our list already. Why go back to it? I mean we already know where it is and isn't it cheating to go back to an old place?" Silence fell over the quinjet as everybody contemplated what Tony had said.

"Its obvious HYDRA really" You suddenly spoke up causing your friends to turn in your direction. "I mean if you've got most of the worlds security networks after you, you need to stay hidden and what better place to hide than plain sight. Whose going to look at a base that everyone knows the Avengers destroyed?" Dragging your eyes off of the wall you looked around at your team who were staring at you. "What? Its what I would do"

"[y/n] has a point" Natasha said over her shoulder.

"Okay but why this one though? There are plenty of locations better suited. This one's good for lab space but its not exactly the- OH unless thats what they're doing!" Tony clapped his hands with glee. "Anyone else care to figure it out? Capsicle? Come on aren't any of you as smart as me? Blondie?" Thor and Steve shrugged at Tony.

"They're starting their experiments again" Bruce said causing you to flinch slightly. You felt Bucky place his hand on your knee, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Correct! Ten points to the green guy!" Tony leant over offering a hand for Bruce to high five.

"When we raided this place a year ago it put a huge hole in their plans, it makes sense they'd want to finish what they started, granted they've got to start from scratch now" Steve said gesturing to you. "So based on this theory, this should still be pretty basic; scientists, a few HYRDA agents and maybe so captives"

"A lot can happen in a couple of weeks Steve" You moved your head to continue staring at the wall when something dawned on you. "Wait is this why you didn't want me to come?" You pushed Bucky's hand off of your leg and stood up turning to face him.

"Don't start this again. I've already told you why I wanted you to stay in the tower" Bucky replied calmly as he also stood.

"Yes but this makes a lot more sense! I knew you were hiding something" You narrowed your eyes at him, hands starting to twitch slightly.

"[y/n] Stark figured this out less than five minutes ago how could I hide it from you?"

"Hey don't bring me into your little assassin domestic!" Tony interjected from behind you. You glared at him over your shoulder before aiming it back at Bucky. You were about to rip into Bucky again, the anger from before slowly building back up when Natasha stepped in front of you.

"Ok I think you need a moment" Natasha said softly to you before taking your hand and gently pulling you towards the back of the quinjet. Still glaring at Bucky, you let her lead you away from the group and lightly push you down in the seat at the end of the row. "What is going on [y/n]?"

"You tell me, why would SOMEBODY not want me on this mission?" Bucky tried not to flinch at the venom in your voice as he remained standing away from you, watching carefully.

"Well maybe because you're acting slightly сумасшедший(crazy) . Slightly" She looked at you pointedly as she placed a finger under your chin and forced you to look at her. 

"No I'm not"

"Uhuh, you were five minutes away from encasing the quinjet in a field"

You looked down at your hands which were still visibly shaking slightly. Balling them into fists you glanced back up at Natasha.

"Okay maybe I was going a bit сумасшедший. I'm sorry. Are you going to make me stay on the jet whilst you guys do the raid? I know thats what Bucky wants" You said defeatedly. 

"Are you in control?" She asked.

"Yes" You werent lying but you werent being one hundred percent honest either. You didnt feel like you were anywhere near slipping into old habits but you could definitely feel the line between the calmness Bucky had taught you and the rage HYDRA had taught you blurring.

"Liar" She smiled at you slightly. "I'm not going to make you stay but we need to have a long talk when we get back"

"Fine" You mumbled returning her smile.

 

Natasha spent most of the flight next to you, that was until it was time to land and she had returned to her seat next to Clint.

"Bringing us down around half a mile out Cap" Clint said. Steve nodded in his direction before he started laying out each team members role for this mission.

"Stark, Thor you'll both take the roof. Nat and Clint take the back entrance. Bucky, [y/n] you're both with me at the front. Bruce this should be pretty easy so unless a code green is needed, its probably best if you stay on the quinjet" Bruce nodded once at Steve. "The aim of the game is simple; shut them down. Stark recover all the computer files and data that you can and the wipe it. The rest of us have one job, take them out"

You all nodded at Steve. You were annoyed that Steve had paired you with Bucky after your previous arguement but you weren't surprised- you both worked well together, the shared knowledge you had on HYRDA always proving helpful.

Tony gave him a two finger salute before he walked over to one of the storage units on the quinjet to take his armour out. From your seat you felt the quinjet slowly come to a halt on the ground. Standing, you moved towards the quinjet door stopping just behind Steve and Bucky, who glanced at you over his shoulder but didn't say anything. At the front of the quinjet Clint hit a button and the ramp slowly lowered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not 100% happy with this I rewrote it a few times and it took a completely different direction than what I was originally going for. So I hope its not too all over the place and please let me know if there's any mistakes. 
> 
> Anyway I hope you like it! :)


	4. I thought this wasn't going to be a problem

You followed Steve and Bucky down the quinjet ramp outside. To the left of the aircraft past the occasional tree was a chain link fence. On the other side was what looked like an old abandoned warehouse.

"Seriously they had the chance to rebuild and they go for creepy warehouse in the middle of nowhere? How disappointingly stereotypical" Tony snorted from inside his suit as he stepped outside. "See you guys on the inside, come on Point Break" He nodded at you all before taking off into the sky with Thor close behind him.

"Stark, you better remember to turn off the security system this time" Clint muttered into his comms as walked out of the quinjet with Natasha, the ramp slowly closing behind them.

 _"That was one time and you handled it beautifully"_ Tonys voice crackled over the team's comm.

"True but its not a surprise attack if they know we're here"

_"Walking up to the building isn't exactly stealthy birdbrain"_

"Hey what part of super spy don't you get? Stealth is my middle name"

"I thought your middle name was Francais" Natasha smirked.

"Shut up Nat" Clint shot her a death glare whilst Tony's laughter errupted over the comm.

"To this day I still do not understand how you two get anything done" You giggled as Steve and Bucky tried to surpress smirks of their own.

 _"Francais... you better... get into... position"_ Tony gasped for breath inbetween bursts of hysterical laughter.

"Stark I swear to god I could hit you from here" Clint waved an arrow in the direction of the warehouse.

"Anyway" Steve cleared his throat. "If you two want to take the right, we'll take the left"

"You got it Cap" Natasha said dragging Clint in the direction of the back of the building, who you could hear was still going on about hitting Tony with a stun arrow.

"Lets move" Steve said to you and Bucky before leading you both towards the base.

* * *

 

Approaching the fence surrounding the warehouse the three of you came to halt. The fence stood about four feet taller than Steve and looked pretty easy to scale.

"Do you reckon its electric?" You asked gesturing at the fence. Steve looked to Bucky who studied the fence carefully for a minute.

"There's no insulators on the posts so we should be good" Bucky replied, kicking the fence for good measure.

"After you Captain" You bowed dramatically at Steve stepping out of the way so he could climb the fence. He rolled his eyes at you before he gracefully jumped up the fence, hooking his fingers through the spaces inbetween the wires near the top of the fence. Swinging a leg up over the fence he pulled himself up and over landing on the other side with grace of a gymnast.

"Need a boost [y/n]?" Bucky asked carefully.

"I think I can scale a fence Barnes" You sneered at him, anger still simmering under the surface. Ignoring the hurt look on Buckys face you attempted to copy what Steve had done, faltering slightly as you tried to swing you leg up. Succeeding in your second attempt you pulled yourself over the fence and landed next to Steve. A second later Bucky landed next to you effortlessly.

"Stark are the alarms down?" Steve asked putting a finger to his ear, as you all carefully approached the small, battered, wooden front door. Static crackled loudly over the team comms causing you to flinch slighty. Alarm flashed over Steve and Buckys faces."Stark, do you copy? Thor? Romanov? Barton? Does anybody copy?" Bursts of static flooded your ears again. "This does not look good. Forget the previous mission, we find the others and we get out now. Understood?" You and Bucky nodded once at Steve before you both unholstered and cocked your guns. Steve lifted his shield off of his back. "On three" He said to Bucky. "Three, two, one"

Steve kicked the door open for Bucky moving swiftly out of the way in one movement. Bucky ran into the warehouse gun up and ready to take out any HYRDA agents waiting on the other side. You followed Steve into the warehouse, concern for your friends overtaking your previous feelings of anger. Steve came to a sudden stop infront of you causing you to faceplant his back. You moved to look over his shoulder and was met with a sqaure empty room. It couldn't have been more then ten feet wide, at each wall was a door similar to the one you had just ran through.

"This keeps getting worse and worse" Steve exclaimed. "They want us to split up. This is a trap and we are walking right into it"

"Hey now Cap I thought this wasn't going to be a problem" You said trying to lighten the mood. He tried to smile at you but it came across more like a grimace.

"I don't think we have a choice here Steve" Bucky said. "I don't like this anymore than you do but what else can we do"

"I know. You're right I just wished we had better options" Steve sighed before going back into Captain mode. "[y/n] you take the left door, Bucky the right, I'll take the middle"

You nodded before you moved to stand infront of your door. You looked over at Bucky who mouthed 'be careful' at you. You almost ignored him but the worry at your current situation had you mouthing 'you too' back at him causing him to smile slightly at you.

"Ready, Three, two, one" Steve counted again before you all kicked your doors down and disappeared through them.

* * *

 

The old wooden door buckled as it swung open revealing a dimly lit staircase. Cautiously you swiftly moved down the stairs, gun pointed infront of you as you watched for any movement. Your footsteps echoed as you quickly reached the bottom step and was met by another door. This door was different from the last two it was brand new and it was metal. By the door frame at the level you would normally find a door handle was a fingerprint scanner. You stared at it for a moment before you slowly placed you thumb on it. You nearly jumped out of you skin when a soft beep echoed and the door clicked open. You weren't sure why you even tried your thumb on the scanner and you didn't have a clue as to why it had opened. Sure you used to be HYRDA but it had been no secret that you had spent the last year with the Avengers. You had assumed as soon as HYRDA had gotten word of that they had wiped what little access you had to their system. You tried your comms again, a heavy feeling of unease settling within you as you heard more static.

Stepping carefully through the door you found yourself in a long white corridor. Sticking close to the wall you slowly made you way down the empty hall. You passed what looked like more doors but there was no way to open them. When you finally reached the end of the hallway you found an unlocked door and walked in. At the opposite end of the room was an open door; a man stood with his back to you in the doorway. Behind you the door slammed shut causing you to jump but you didn't take your eyes off of the mysterious figure.

"Turn around! Slowly!" You ordered.

The man took a small step forward just into the next room.

"Don't move!"

He looked at you over his shoulder and smirked at you as the door slammed shut blocking him from your view.

Your gun hit the floor with a loud clatter as a wave of nasuea hit you. He was the last person you expected to see. He was meant to be dead. Bucky had told you he was dead.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, real life has been sucker punching me recently.  
> Hope you like it :)


	5. The Truth Comes Out

You werent sure how long you were stood there staring at the door but you were jolted out of your stupor when the door behind you slid open and your friends came running in behind you. Blinking you realised the door in front of you had also opened and you took off running, confusion and fear battling for control. Behind you your team mates where shouting at you to stop, their footsteps echoing as they tried to catch up.

The room where you had seen him was now empty. Much like the rest of the rooms you had been in, this room was empty apart from more doorways. Picking a random one you continued running following a maze of empty rooms and doorways attempting to find your target.

Eventually you hit a dead end. Frantically you looked around the room trying to find where he had gone. Your attention was drawn to a big piece of tarp in the corner covering something bulky. You had barely pulled the cover off and you could see what was under it. Stumbling back you found yourself gasping for breath as you fell over your own feet. Sitting in the corner of the room was one of HYRDA's brainwashing machines. The very thing they had used to torture you as they tried to increase your powers.

As panic set in, around you one of your forcefields flickered weakly. You pulled yourself off of the floor and turned around to run; straight into Bucky. Taking in the look of terror on your face he quickly tried to take a firm but gentle grip on you as he attempted to speak to you. You flailed about trying to keep out of his grip and get past him but your team prevented you from getting any further down hallway.

"I'm not doing that again" You said over and over again, interchanging between English and Russian. You were still lashing out trying to escape when you felt two strong arms wrap around you from behind pinning your arms at your sides. You strained against them, muttering over and over as tears started to run down your face. The force field you had subconciously tried to create, continued to pulsate between nothing and a full field around you and now Bucky.

"[y/n] shhhh. It's okay. We're not making you do anything. You're safe. Nobody's going to hurt you" Bucky said soothingly in your ear. From behind you, he nodded once at Steve who turned and started to lead the rest of the team away. Natasha looked at you briefly over her shoulder before following.

"Let me go" You struggled against his arms but he was too strong for you.

"[y/n] I can't let you go until you calm down okay? You're going to hurt yourself. You need to listen to me. Its me, Bucky. You're safe" He repeated until you finally stilled in his arms and the glitching forcefield that had surrounded you both vanished. He relaxed his grip on your arms as he gently lowered you to the floor. You were still breathing heavily as you leant back into him. "There we go, that's better"

"The machine" You breathed shakily causing Bucky's face to harden slighty. His memories of that were even worse that yours. "I need to get out of here Bucky"

"Then lets get you out of here, Doll" He helped you off of the floor and slowly led you back through the winding corridors and out of the warehouse.

　

Slumping in your seat on the quinjet you vauguely remembered Bucky leading you back outside and to the rest of the Avengers. Natasha was sat next to you holding your hand whilst Bucky stood infront of you talking to Steve. You tried to focus on your surroundings but found yourself drifitng off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Opening your eyes you found yourself squinting at the harsh flourescent light surrounding you. You tried to move but couldnt. Looking down you saw thick leather straps held you down in place; binding your wrists and ankles to the hard chair you were sat on.

"Somebody help me!" You heard yourself cry out. "Where's my Mum and Dad?!" You struggled against the restraints, the leather digging into your skin. Behind you, you heard a door open and then close.

"Your parents are dead" Came a heavily accented voice. A tall sinister looking man stepped into your sight. He wore an expensive looking suit and was casually resting his hands infront of himself.

"What? No they aren't I was just at home with them! Where are they?! Where am I?! Who are you?!" Tears were falling quickly down your face as you continued fighting against the straps.

"My name is Viktor Olegovich. It doesn't matter where you are only that you are here." The grin he flashed you made you feel sick to your stomach and only increased the panic you were feeling. You thrashed about in your seat crying out in terror. "Now, now [y/n] there's really no need to be like this" He said coldly. "You are my future. You are HYRDA's future" He nodded at something behind you and you suddenly felt a sharp jab in your neck and everything sowly faded to black.

 

* * *

 

 

You awoke on the quinjet with a start bolting upright, eyes wide with fear. The grip Natasha had on your hand tightened as she leant forward.

"It's okay [y/n], you're safe" She said gently before kicking the back of Bucky's leg to grab his attention. Turning around he was crouching down in front of you in an instant, Steve watching cautiously from behind.

Your eyes flitted widly around the room taking in your surroundings. Looking at your friends. Looking for him.

"[y/n] we're in the quinjet, we're nearly back at the tower. You're safe. How do you feel?" He asked, his voice thick with concern. He lightly placed his human hand on your knee causing you to flinch but he didnt move it.

You looked down at Bucky's hand and then at his face. You focused on his face as you slowly let out the breath you hadn't realised you had been holding.

"Something is wrong" You whispered.

"What?" He took your other hand in his, squeezing it gently.

"Back at the warehouse I thought.. I saw..I'm sure he..." You shook your head once. You couldn't figure out how to say whay you wanted without sounding crazy.

"Shhh. Its okay. We'll talk about it when we get home" You watched Bucky glance up at Steve over his shoulder, there expressions where unreadable. Something was going on you just couldn't piece it together.

 

 

After landing back the tower you let Natasha and Bucky lead you from the quinjet to the armoury. You absentmindly removed all your weapons and stowed them in your container before following them to the elevator. You were so intent on figuring out the events of the mission that you jumped a mile when the elevator dinged when it reached your floor.

"Let me know if you need anything, okay [y/n]?" Natasha said as she stepped out the elevator. You nodded and she gave you a quick hug before disappearing to her room.

You silently followed Bucky to your room and waited for him to punch in the key code. You let him lead you to your bed and you slowly sat down. Bucky was lookig you intently as he sat next to you.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" He asked gently. You sat there for a moment before turning to face him.

"What did you and Steve find in the base? How did you find the others?"

"Nothing. The place was empty. No HYDRA, no anything" He ran a hand through his hair. "I hit what I thought was a dead end when a door opened and there Steve was. Followed him through a few doors and found everyone else. Then we eventually found you the same way"

"Nothing? All of that splitting us up for you two to find nothing?" You chewed your lip thoughtfully.

"[y/n] did you find anything else? Apart from... Well you know?" He asked carefully.

"Nothing. What was the point then? A trap? No. What is he doing?" You muttered to yourself standing to pace around your room. You were looking at it from every angle and couldn't come up with a solution.

"[y/n]?" Bucky was now standing watching you pace. "[y/n]" He repeated louder causing you to stop moving.

"You're going to think I'm insane" You turned to face him but didnt meet his eyes. He moved over to stand infront of you.

"Insane huh? Lets see things I think you are? Determined? Yes. Stubborn? Hell yes. Fearless? Brave? Beautiful? Yes, yes and yes. As for insane? You're no crazier than me Doll" He cupped your cheek with his metal hand, moving your face so you were looking him in the eyes.

"Thats not saying much" You said giving him a wry smile.

"I'm trying to be nice" He chuckled under his breath before pulling you towards him to plant a soft kiss on your lips. After a couple of seconds you broke the kiss but didnt pull away, resting your forehead on his. His metal hand still rested on your cheek whilst his other was intertwined with one of yours.

"You're still going to think I'm crazy" You whispered.

"Try me"

"Viktor Olegovich is alive" You shut your eyes as you spoke a shudder going through you as you said his name aloud. Saying it aloud made it one hundred percent real. Before you could almost pass it off as a nightmare or a hallucination from the anger you had been feeling over the last twenty four hours. You waited for Bucky to react, to say something but was instead met with silence. You opened your eyes to look at him.

"What did you see him do?" He asked causing you to step back confused. You had expected one of two reactions, the first being Bucky thinking you were crazy; the second being one of comfort. This was neither.

"That was not the reaction I was expecting" You eventually said. "You aren't surprised. Why aren't you surprised?" You studied his face carefully when it suddenly dawned on you. The lying. The exchanged looks with Steve. He had already known. "You knew didn't you?" He didn't answer right away all but confirming what you had asked.

"Yes" He said having the decency to look guilty now. He moved to step towards you but you stepped away from him.

"Did you know he was going to be there today?" You asked angrily. Bucky nodded once in response. "How long have you known he was alive? Or have you always known and been lying to me since the begining" You practically spat the latter at him.

"SHIELD got intel a couple of weeks ago that he had been spotted. They recieved a tip he'd be at the base. I-" Bucky started to explain but you interupted him.

"A couple of weeks?!" You raised your voice. "You've known for two weeks and you didn't think I deserved to know?! After what he did to me, you didn't think I need to know?!"

"[y/n] look, I-" He said calmly but you interupted. Again.

"Who gave you the right to decide what I should or should not know?!" You shouted. You could feel yourself losing control again, your hands twitching again as images of Olegvich flashed through your mind.

"Yes! Of course you damn well deserve to know! But I wasn't going to dump this on you without knowing all the facts" Bucky snapped at you. Taking a deep breath he ran his hand through his hair before continuing in a calmer tone. "You're right, I shouldn't have kept this from you but I know what this means. I didn't want you to get hurt"

"Its a little late for that" You stomped over to your door flinging it open. "Get out"

"[y/n] can we just-"

"Выйти! (Get Out!)" You shouted. Bucky slowly walked over to your door stopping in the doorway, he turned to look at you.

"I really am sorry [y/n]. I'll leave if that's what you want but please try and calm down" He said quietly.

You didn't say anthing. You just stood there glaring, waiting for him to leave. After a couple of seconds he stepped out of your room. He looked at you over his shoulder sadly as you slammed the door in his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there's any mistakes I didn't have time to triple check. Hope you like it :)


	6. Test Subject 1452

You stood staring at your now closed door. You were incredibly angry but you also felt numb. The one person who you had thought you could fully trust had lied to you. He had betrayed you.

Turning around you walked across your room looking for something to break. On your bed side table was a half empty glass of water. You picked it up and threw it at the wall. It shattered on impact, water and shards of glass now littering the floor. It didn't make you feel any better. You still felt angry and now you had glass to clean up.

Whilst he was the last person you wanted to listen to, what Bucky had said before he left your room was right. You needed to calm down. You needed to release some of the negative energy building within you. After your multiple slip ups in the last twenty four hours, something like this could easily force you back into your old ways. You couldn't let that happen.

After you had cleaned the glass up, you opened your door and peered into the hallway making sure Bucky wasn't hanging around waiting for you. When the coast was decidely clear you left your room and made you way to the elevator, hitting the button to open the door as you came to a stop.

"JARVIS?" You said as you stepped in, pressing the button for the training room.

"Yes Miss [y/l/n]?)" Came the AI's voice from above.

"Can you run a facial recongition search for me? CCTVs, traffic cameras, the works?"

"Who am I looking for?"

"Viktor Olegovich" You flinched slightly as you said his name.

"Mr Stark already has me running that search"

"Oh. Can you let me know when you find him please?" You should have known Tony would already be looking. Hell he had probably started the search before you'd even mentioned your encounter to Bucky.

"Of course. Will that be all Miss [y/l/n]?"

"Yes, thank you JARVIS"

The elevator dinged as it hit your destination. Taking in the sight of the empty training room as you made your exit, you relaxed slightly knowing full well if anyone had been around you wouldn't have hesitated to lash out at them.

Whilst you were furious with Bucky you couldn't help but hold anger towards your friends as well. There was no way they wouldn't have known. One of them could have told you. But they didn't.

At the far end of the gym, past the rows of exercise equipment and training dummies, hung a punching bag. It was one of four in the room but this one was yours.

When you moved into the tower Steve and Bucky had thought it would be a good idea. Something that you could use to release all of the anger and negative energy that you were holding on to seeing as you were reluctant to talk to anyone. In your first two months living there the bag had been replaced practically every other day. It had been replaced less as you had become closer to Bucky though.

Bucky.

You angrily lashed out at the bag, punching it hard in the middle causing it to swing waywardly. You stood there watching it until it slowly came to a stop. Taking a deep breath you began to rythmically beat the bag.

The sounds of your bare fists hitting the bag echoed throughout the training room. Your anger slowly numbed as your mind began to drift.

 

* * *

 

　

"The time for rest is over [y/n]. Its time to begin" A cold voice jolted you awake. You automatically lurched forward only to be restricted by the restraints still pinning you to a chair. You were in a different room than before. An old projector screen had been set up opposite you and various pieces of equipment you didn't recongise lined the walls either side of you. Viktor Olegovich stood infront of you, arms folded over his chest.

"Why are you doing this? What are you going to do to me?" You whimpered.

"I told you before [y/n] you're my future. Its time to build my future" He snapped his fingers and stepped to the side, his eyes fixated on you.

From behind you, a younger man in a lab coat stepped into view pushing a small trolley. Laying on top was a single syringe, a small vial of yellow liquid, a pen and a pad of paper. He picked the syringe up and plunged the tip into the vial filling it before moving towards you.

"Whats that?! What are you doing?!" You yelled at him, straining against your restraints trying to move out of his reach but failing.

" Начальный образец одного , испытуемый 1 452 (Begining sample one, test subject 1452)" The man said before jabbing the needle into your upper arm.

The sting of the needle caused tears to run down your face as you cried out in pain. The stinging sensation quickly turned into burning and it spread over the rest of your arm and across your body.

"Wha-What have you done to me?" You gasped. Your body began to shake and spasm involuntary. "Make it stop! It hurts!"

"Запустите наглядные пособия , контролировать свои реакции. Держи меня в курсе (Start the visual and audio aids, monitor her reactions. Keep me updated)" Viktor said to the other man, ignoring your pleas for help.

"Да сэр (Yes Sir)"

"Hail HYRDA"

"Hail HYRDA"

Viktor nodded at the man before smiling briefly at you. He then left the room as the scientist walked over to one of the machines near the wall. He flicked a few switchs and the lights in the room dimmed and a projector lowered from the ceiling. He moved to stand to the side of you as various images and video clips flashed on the screen. It was a mix of incredibly violent scenes and various things from what would be assumed was the history of this organisation. You didn't have to try to not watch the screen as the searing pain through your body was a big enough distraction.

You kept crying out to the man to help you thick sobs wracking through your body until the pain became too much and you passed out slumping in your seat.

 

* * *

 

　

You landed a hard punch to the bag causing it to come unattatched from the chain hanging from the ceiling. It hit the floor with a loud thump, sand starting to spill from the seam splitting where you had hit it.

Shaking your head slightly to rid your head of the old memory you sank to the floor next to the bag. You sat there watching each grain of sand fall.

"Miss [y/l/n]?" JARVIS' voice came from above startling you.

"Yes JARVIS?" You said quietly looking up.

"Mr Starks search has come up positive. He has found Mr Olegovich"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a while to update I kind of lost my flow a little with this hopefully its back now :)  
> Unedited so let me know if there's any mistakes


	7. Breakdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited etc etc. Sorry it took forever. Hope it doesn't suck too bad.

"y/n"

You blinked twice, as your eyes refocused Natasha came in to view. She was kneeling in front of you. To your right was the split bag you had punched off of the wall.

"Are you ok?" She said carefully. You nodded once before speaking.

"What are you doing down here?"

"JARVIS said he told you the news over half an hour ago. When you weren't upstairs waiting to leave we thought..." Her voice trailed off.

They had thought you had gone off the rails. Slipped back into the old behaviours that had been threatening to take over since yesterday. You hadn't. Yet.

You were still in control but you could feel that slipping away piece by piece. HYRDA, Olegovich, your friends, the lies. Your head was swimming and you kept switching between intense anger and numbness.

"[y/n]" Natasha placed a gently had on your arm. You brushed her off and stood up.

"Lets go"

　

Silence hung heavily in the air as you both rode the elevator directly up to the quinjet hangar. Seeing as you were still in your mission clothes from the previous op there was no need to stop for you to change. Every now and then you saw Natasha glance at you. Sighing you turned to face her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" You asked.

"I wanted to but-"

"Don't give me that!" You interupted her causing her to raise an eyebrow at you. "If you had wanted to you could have but you didn't. Why?"

"Because you're just like me and you're just like Bucky" She said calmly. You felt your jaw clench at his name. "We were both made into something we aren't. And given the opportunity we would both be reacting the exact same way you are if we came face to face with the monsters who did it to us. That is why I didn't tell you. You aren't the person they turned you into and I was not giving you any reason to fall back into that"

"Oh" Was all you were able to say.

"Look I know trust is an incredibly hard thing for us. But you have to believe me when I say, that all of us care about you. A lot. We've got your back no matter what ok?"

"I'm sorry Nat. Deep down I know why you all kept it from me. I do. I just- I can't get out of my own head you know? I feel so angry at everything. I dont know what to do" You said quietly looking at the floor. Natasha took a step forward and pulled you into a tight hug.

"I know. Its okay. We'll figure it ok?"

You nodded into her shoulder as the elevator dinged to signal you had arrived at the hangar. Stepping out of her grasp you moved towards the open doors. Natasha touched your shoulder briefly before walking out in front of you towards the quinjet.

　

Three hours later the quinjet landed on the outskirts of a small town in the middle of knowhere. JARVIS and Tony had both told you where you were headed but you hadn't been paying too much attention. Your mind was completely focused on what was ahead. You still hadn't figured out what Olegovich was up to and had no idea the effect he would have on you if he spoke to you. With how edgy you had been it was probably incredibly risky being here but you didn't care. You just wanted this to end once and for all.

Stepping off of the quinjet you followed Steve around the backstreets of the town. Tony's search had revealed Olegovich had been spotted in town but nobody had an exact location on him. The team eventually came to a stop outside a row of old looking buildings.

"This is the best place to start. No security cameras, no witnesses. He's more than likely using one of these. The empty ones are probably the best bet" Steve gestured. You looked up at them before you heard a door close behind you. Across the road from where you were standing was an apartment building. A few of the windows on the ground floor had been boarded up but the rest of the building was clearly still lived in.

As Steve began to give the team their orders your mind began to wander. This was all wrong. You thought back to the various exit routes that had been drilled into you from your HYRDA days. All of the escape routes. Safe house locations. Extraction protocols. You wouldn't pick an empty building. You would pick somewhere with people. People who would be able to alert you if someone was near. If something was out of place in the area. You would hide in plain sight. Looking up at the empty apartment building you started to scan the windows. A few people huddled at a window on the first floor, looking out at the Avengers below. At the window after you saw a curtain shift slightly at a window and a dark shadow briefly appeared.

  
Without thinking you took off sprinting towards the door. Behind you, you heard somebody call your name but you ignored them. Crashing through the door you flew up the stairs taking them two at a time.  
  
At the top of the stairs the door to the apartment you had been watching was wide open. Feeling your old instincts and a new anger kick in you took off running in the opposite direction, the footsteps and shouts of your teammates echoing through the building as they raced up the stairs to catch up with you. You came to a halt in front of one if the rear facing apartments and kicked the door down. There he was. Leaning forward, the window was open and he had one foot on the fire escape.  
  
"Don't even think about it" you practically snarled at him. Throwing a hand up you created a force field outside the window preventing him from leaving as you pulled your gun out with the other. "Get on your knees"  
  
He slowly took his foot off of the fireplace and turned around to face you. "Ah [y/n] so nice to see you again. Look at how far you've come, running around playing superhero. I'm so proud" he laughed. "Back in the day I'd be dead by now"  
  
"Get. On. Your. Knees" you ground out. As he slowly knelt down raising his hands above his head, you lowered the force field. Stepping forward towards him, you cocked your gun aiming it at his forehead.  
  
"Truly I am surprised, clearly spending time with the Avengers has softened you" He taunted you.  
  
"Shut up. Don't think for one second I won't put a bullet in your head" You pressed the gun into his forehead causing him to lean back slightly.  
  
"Why haven't you then? This isn't the first opportunity you've had. You know back when you were mine-" He was interrupted by the sounds of the Avengers bursting into the room behind you, shouting at you to stop. Out of instinct you threw a hand up behind you stopping them from coming any further by trapping them all in a force field.

"[y/n]! You need to stop!" Bucky shouted at you from inside the field. You didn't react, instead choosing to glare at the man infront of you. A dull thud echoed from behind you. You assumed one of your friends was banging on your forcefield. "Steve she's not going to listen to me. You try. Order her to stop, it might work" Bucky said quietly.

  
"Y/n this was not the mission, you need to stand down" Steve ordered calmly.  
  
Ignoring him you looked down at Olegovich who was smirking at you. The way he was looking at you was getting under your skin. It was the same look he gave you everytime he gave you an order. Everytime he left you screaming in agony after each experiment. Anger and hate clouded your mind until you were numb from it. You could feel yourself losing control and for some reason you didn't care.  
  
"It's always about the mission huh [y/n]? They're no different from us, using your skills to finish the job. The only difference is they've ruined what I was turning you into. So shoot me already and finish what I started. Стреляй в меня! (Shoot me!)" He shouted at you in Russian.

"Что ты здесь делаешь? Почему не мог оставить меня в покое? (What are you doing here? Why couldn't you leave me alone?" You shouted back at him angrily. Your hand that was controlling the force field had started to shake now whilst the hand holding the gun remained steadily trained on his head.

Behind you, Bucky tried to talk to you again, this time in Russian in an attempt to calm you down but it did the opposite. You were already angry at him and that just tipped you further over the edge. Flexing the hand that was still out behind you, the force field shook slightly and moved backwards.  
  
"Something tells me she still doesn't want to talk to you Frosty" Tony quipped from inside his armor earning glares from the rest of the team. Natasha stepped towards the edge of the field and tried where Bucky had failed but you didn't want to hear it, moving the field again.  
  
"Я знал это! (I knew it!)" He exclaimed. "I was always telling them if we pushed you enough you would be able to do more! Imagine the possibilities!" He went to clap his hands together with glee at his newest discovery.  
  
"Не двигаться! (Don't move!)" You barked at him. Olegovich didn't listen to you he started to stand up slowly; hands out in front of him. You were shaking and your mind was all over the place. You didn't know who to listen to at this point; all of their voices had become a huge blur.  
  
"I've spent the last year hoping the old you was still in there. That all my work hadn't been for nothing. Hoping I could continue where I left off. Looks like my hoping has paid off. Why don't you come with me? Why with you by my side HYRDA can fulfill its purpose" He moved to take the gun from your hand slowly lowering it from his forehead. "Вот это мой дорогой (That's it my dear)" he whispered.  
  
Whether it was him touching you or calling you 'my dear' you weren't sure, but you suddenly pulled the trigger firing a bullet into his shoulder. Surprise flitted across his face as he fell to the floor clutching his shoulder in pain. He started to shout at you again in Russian trying to order you and issue punishments at once.  
  
Bucky swore from behind you and started trying to talk to you again but this time in English. He was trying to get you to get rid of the force field and let him help you.  
  
Blinking the full realization of what had just happened hit you like a ton of bricks. All traces of your anger vanished and you looked over your shoulder at your teammates in horror. You could not believe what you had done. You had used your powers on them and a small part of you had been listening to him instead of them. You had let him crawl inside your head and betrayed your team. An overwhelming feeling of guilt and shame hit you. You stepped over Olegovich, who was writhing on the floor still shouting at you, and went over to the window and opened it with one hand.  
  
"I am so sorry" you said quietly to your teammates before climbing out onto the fire escape ignoring Bucky's desperate shouting. Once you were outside you scaled down a ladder landing on the pavement below. Taking a deep breath you finally relaxed your hand bringing down the force field above. Not giving them a chance to catch you, you disappeared into a nearby alleyway running as far away as you could.


	8. From Bad to Worse

-48 hours later-  
  
"We've looked everywhere I can think of Steve. I don't know where she's gone. I should've known she'd run" Bucky said running his hand through his hair in frustration as he paced the lab.  
  
"Its not your fault, we'll find her Buck. Stark, any luck?" Steve asked turning to face the billionaire who was leaning over a computer.  
  
"No such luck Cap. JARVIS has ran facial rec on cameras everywhere you said and I've got nothing. I hate to say it but I think this is gonna be a waiting game" Tony said turning around to face Steve and Bucky. "Romanov should hear back from her contacts maybe they'll know something we don't"  
  
"She's not going to be found unless she wants to be. I just need to know she's safe not doing something she'll regret" Bucky said.  
  
"It might be a bit late for that" came Maria Hill's voice from the doorway. "Viktor Olegovich was found dead in his holding cell this morning. One shot to the forehead. Security cameras to the building were down and I've got two dead agents as well" Hill said walking towards the men turning her tablet around to face them showing a photo of Olegovich's body. "I need answers and I need them now"  
  
"Shit" Bucky snatched the tablet out of Maria's hands.

"Theres no proof [y/n] had anything to do with this" Steve said calmly as he carefully pried the tablet from Bucky, who looked like he was seconds away from snapping it in half.

"No there's no proof but with two of our own dead S.H.I.E.L.D's out for blood. [y/n] is the most obvious suspect; she's missing and has a history with Olegovich. We need to find her now"

"What do you think we're doing!" Bucky snapped. "I'm not going to help you find her if the second we do you through her in some cell somewhere"

"I'm not going to arrest her Barnes. I just want to talk. Look the hit was clearly the work of someone with ties to HYRDA" Maria said cooly to Bucky, who was glaring at her with a full blown Winter Soldier stare. Rolling her eyes she focused on Steve and Tony. "You all confirmed [y/n] had a full blown episode two days ago. Its not completely out of the question that she could've done this and not realised. And if it wasn't her, we've got an even bigger problem on our hands. Keep me informed, I'll do the same"

Tony opened his mouth to say something clever but clamped his mouth shut when Hill raised an eyebrow at him. Steve nodded and walked Maria to the elevator, making small talk whilst Bucky continued to angrily pace.

"So do you really think she did it?" Steve asked quietly as he pressed the elevator button.

"I don't want her to have done this Steve but I've got to look at the facts. It looks bad"

"I know" He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Just be prepared for the worst" Maria glanced over her shoulder at Bucky. "Make sure he's prepared for the worst" Steve nodded at her as she stepped into the elevator. "Remember keep me updated" She said as the doors closed quietly in front of her.

Steve stood there staring at the doors breifly before he squared his shoulders and walked briskly back to where Tony was standing- and where Bucky was pacing.

"Run facial rec again"

 

* * *

 

 

The lab was silent and tension hung heavily in the air by the time Natasha made her way upstairs with Clint close behind her. She had spent the last twenty four hours reaching out to old contacts from her KGB days. Leaving cryptic messages online and in various places in the city. A few coded phone calls, a favour and a file later she had some possible addresses for safe houses reportedly used by the Russian operatives lent out to HYRDA.

"Well well well aren't you boys busy?" She said. Tony was sat on a counter top tinkering with, well something, Bucky had given up on his previous pacing and was sat watching the facial rec software run for what had to be the tenth time by now. Steve was leaning against the door frame watching them both. "Supervising the children Cap?" She smirked.

"Something like that. Got anything?"

"Perhaps" Natasha said over Tony's protests about being a child. "An old friend had a few ideas. Apparently HYRDA has a network of safe houses and bunkers across the globe. When they activate an agent they're told a number of locations they can use if compromised"

"SHIELD has a similar system, probably where they got the idea" Clint said as Natasha handed Steve a sheet of paper from the file she was holding.

"Anywhere look promising?" Steve asked as he started to read the list but was interupted as Bucky stole it from him.

"And what are the chances of [y/n] actually being there?" Tony piped up from his counter top.

"There's one in the city. We should start there" Buck said matter of factly, shoving the list back at Steve.

"She's vanished into thin air and you think she's hiding out in the city?"

"Hiding in plain sight" Was all Bucky said.

"If she was still in the city wouldn't at least one of the cameras picked something up?"

"You're kidding right?" Bucky looked pointedly at Tony.

"Yeah ok you have a point. Sneaky spies that you guys are"

Ignoring Tony, Bucky looked at Steve and Natasha. "I'm going to check that one out. I have a good feeling about it. Nobody else has to come, in fact it'll probably be easier the less of us there, if she is there"

"Nat and I will come wih you Buck" Steve said, Natasha nodding her head as he spoke.

"I don't need backup"

"We're not backup. We're support just in case"

 

* * *

 

 

The address listed in the file led them to an apartment building twenty minutes away from the tower.

"Pretty nice for a safe house" Natasha stated looking up at structure. It wasn't anything fancy, but it still had all of its window and looked like a relativley new build. "I swear to god if [y/n] is hiding out here I'm gonna kick her ass"

"Thats my job. You can kick what's left of it" Bucky said as he tried the front door. Locked. "Pick the lock Nat"

"Woah no don't pick the lock Nat" Steve said exasaparated, jumping in front of the redhead as she moved towards the door. "This is public property and we aren't criminals"

"Well then what do you suggest _Stevie_. Breaking in is the best option"

"No its not. Move out of the way" Steve moved past Bucky and studied the wall next to the door before pressing a button on an intercom.

"How is announcing our presence better?" Bucky asked as Steve waved a hand at him to shush him.

 _"Hello"_ Came an elderly woman's voice over the speaker.

"Good afternoon Maam. Are you apartment 15?" Steve asked mild panic etching his voice.

"Yes?"

"Oh thank god! You see I have a delivery for number 14 and its too big for the mail slot and I'm already running late, if I get anymore behind schedule I'm going to be in so much trouble. Would it be ok if you could just buzz me in real quick? I'll be two seconds I just need to leave this outside their door" Steve rambled off to the speaker.

 _"Ok dear, just be quick about it"_ The lady answered after a minute.

"Thank you so much! Have a nice day!" Steve said cheerily before taking his finger off of the intercom. A buzzing noise sounded and a loud click followed as the door unlocked. Pushing it with his arm he held it open allowing Natasha and Bucky to enter the building.

"Sometimes your sneakiness still surprises me Rogers" Natasha said as she ducked under his arm. Bucky shook his head slightly following Natasha with Steve close behind him.

　

Climbing up the stairs to the first floor Natasha came to a halt at the door, pulling it open for Bucky and Steve.

"I'll wait here in case she runs"

Bucky nodded at her before stepping into the corridor lined with numbered doors. Walking down the hall he counted each door until he reached the one listed on the file. Number six. He studied the door intently for a minute before looking at Steve.

"So how do we do this? Do I knock? Break in?" He asked quietly, his nervousness clear in his voice.

"Just knock Buck. If she's in there she'll open the door" Steve replied confidently.

Taking a calming breath, Bucky rapped on the door, the sound echoing throughout the quiet corridor. He waited for a moment in silence before he knocked again. When there was no answer again he reached down and tried the door handle. As he pushed down on the handle the door swung open revealing a trashed apartment. Rushing forward he called out your name as he frantically looked around the room. All of the furniture in the room; a chair, a table and a small chest of drawers were out of place and damaged. On the wall to his left a large panel hung open revealling an array of equipment; guns, knives, computer equipment and phones. Missing from the display was one gun and two knives. Stepping forward it was then he noticed it. Blood. Pooled and smeared in the middle of the floor it had started to dry into the white carpet.

"What the hell?" Bucky heard Steve ask behind him.


	9. Agent 18

Blinking as you opened your eyes, you found the harsh white light you saw was almost too much. Your whole body felt heavy and your head fuzzy. What the hell had happened? One moment you had been holed up in New York trying to figure out your next move and now you where god knows where. You tried to stand up but couldn't. As you adjusted to your surroundings it dawned on you, you were sitting up. Bulky machinary was dotted around the room and familar looking straps held your arms and legs in place and metal clamps held your head still. HYRDA's brain washing machine. Terror swelled in your chest and you automatically struggled against your restraints.

"Oh good, you're awake" A voice said. You attempted to whip your head around in the direction of the voice but the structure of the chair kept you in place. "I told them to ease up on the sedative; its hard to find good help these days" A tall, lean woman stepped out from behind you walked around the front of your chair.

"What the hell do you want?" You asked, trying to keep the fear out of your voice as your gaze darted between her and the brain washing machine. She took a step towards to you, resting her hands either side of you. Automatically you flexed your hands trying to put a force field between the two of you but nothing happened. You tried again, hands twitching widly under the restraints but to no avail.

"Nice try but mixed in with the sedatives was little surprise HYRDA's been working on. Suppressors" She grinned smugly at you. "Of course we weren't one hundred percent sure of the effect it would have on you but it was a risk I was willing to take"

"You've suppressed my powers" You repeated, wide eyed. Panic eveident in your voice. You were trapped, helpless and you were one hundred percent sure nobody would find you. You had done a good enough job hiding from Bucky on your own; there was no way HYRDA would let him find you either.

"Oh relax, its only temporary. I knew if you had them I wouldn't be able to hook you back up to this" She patted the clamp on your cheek causing you to wince.

"Who are you?"

"You will call me Agent 18 and I am here to finish my little science project"

"Your project?" Confused you stared at her. Not that you had a choice in the matter anyway.

"My project" She confirmed before taking a step back from you. "You think what happened to you was Olegovich's idea, dont you?"

"But he- I answered to him?" Your mind was reeling. Granted in the big picture you knew Olegovich answered to somebody but you had always assumed he was in charge of whatever sector of HYRDA was conducting the experiments. He always acted like he didn't have to answer to anyone.

"Yes. And then he answered to me" She smirked at you before continuing. "It took us a while to track you down after those _idiots_ took you from us. Once I realised you had joined them, were fighting with them, we couldn't just waltz in and take you. They wouldn't allow that. But if you left them, well, then we could take you without any trouble"

"I left them to protect them!"

"No, you left them because I made you"

"What are you talking about?!" You were practically shouting at her now. You were angry, confused and terrified.

"The Avengers seemed to be doing a excellent job at keeping you under control. All I needed was something to push you back over the edge. Or someone rather. I knew seeing him would drag your mind back to HYRDA. Which would one way or another alienate you from your new friends. Once they were gone it was easy to find you. Next time you want to hide use your own safehouse" She laughed coldly at you. "Of course that plan did backfire slightly, I wasn't expecting you to shoot Olegovich or for him to get caught. Had to take him out of the picture after that little slip up so here we are. Now that you're all caught up, we really must begin" She snapped her fingers and you heard movement behind you. After a second the machinary in the room whirred to life causing your body to tense.

A tall man in a labartory coat stepped out from behind you holding a mouth guard. Fear coarsing through you, you automatically clamped your jaw shut. Hearing Agent 18 clear her throat you looked in her direction, she met you with an icy glare.

"Соблюдать (Comply)" She said firmly, raising an eyebrow at you; as if to dare you to disobey.

You hesistated briefly before your mouth dropped open in defeat. The scientist shoved the plastic guard into your mouth and you automatically bit down on it, staring blankly ahead. Detattaching yourself from the room, you prepared yourself from the oncoming pain you had thought you would never have to feel again.

"We've got it set to half power boss" The scientist said moving back to his place behind you.

"Crank it up to full" Agent 18 ordered as she watched you.

"She's never had it on full before. Olegovich was concerned full power would disrupt her abilities"

"Crank it up to full" She repeated. "Wipe her completely"

"But-"

"Do it. I want her at her fullest potential. Now"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took forever. Writers block is not fun :/


	10. A Memory and Hope

*One Year Ago (give or take a few days)*

"She's highly unstable Buck. JARVIS has sedated her twice today already" Steve said as he walked down a corridor with Bucky towards the isolation room.

"All the more reason I should go see her Steve. If anybody knows what she's going through it's me" They reached a door and Steve punched in the code on the small keypad on the wall. "It'll be fine. I can get her to calm down. Or at least get her to see that we aren't going to hurt her"

Steve studied Bucky for a brief moment before nodding. "Ok. Remember JARVIS is there if she freaks out too much"

"It'll be fine" Bucky repeated before stepping through the now open door.

　

The isolation room wasn't new to Bucky. He had spent many a day locked in there when he first moved into the tower and was still coming down off of his Winter Soldier Programming. Numberous days he had spent violently lashing out at the bullet proof, super solider proof barrier that divided the room in half.

Funny, he thought to himself how, he never imagined he'd be on this side of the room; the side Steve had spent days on, reassuring him and trying to calm him down and bring him back to himself.

When he stepped into the room [y/n] had been standing on the small bed (the only furniture in the room, so whoever was using it couldn't hurt themselves), and was ferociously clawing at the wall. Watching carefully he stopped in front of the barrier and waited. Waited for it to register that she wasn't alone. He didn't want to make too much noise as he remembered how sensitive he had been in there.

After a solid five minutes of [y/n]'s frantic scrambling she stepped down off of the bed in defeat and turned to try and find another exit point. That was when she saw him. Frozen on the spot, she eyed him cautiously, fingers twitching slightly as a force field surrounded her.

"It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you" He said simply. "My name is Bucky Barnes. This is Avengers Tower, you're safe here"

"I'm not safe. I'm trapped. Let me out" She spoke quietly but anger laced her words.

"I can't let you out. Not yet at least. If you calm down and quit lashing out then we'll see"

"Выпусти меня (Let me out)" She repeated, snarling loudly this time. She was at the barrier dividing the room in an instant, her fists slamming down onto it in swift forceful motions.

"Стоп. Я хочу помочь тебе (Stop. I want to help you)" Bucky spoke calmly but firmly.

[Y/n's] eyes widened slightly at the russian command Bucky had directed at her and she automatically stopped hitting the barrier, arms dropping to her sides. Looking down at the floor, she waited. Waited for what usually happened after being spoken to in russian; orders or torture. Bucky watched her for a moment before he continued to speak, this time in english.

"What's your name?"

She didn't answer, her eyes still trained on the floor.

"It's awful in there isn't it?" He tried, moving to sit crosslegged opposite her. She looked down at him, eyes narrowed before she hesitantly sat down as well.

"Oh yeah? What would you know about that?" She asked, her tone harsh.

"How about you answer a question, I answer a question? Sounds fair?"

She nodded once, her whole body rigid.

"What's your name?" Bucky asked again.

"[y/n]" She said her name strangely, as if she hadn't said her name out loud in a long time.

"You got a last name to go with that?"

"Uh-uh. You said if I answered one, you'd answer one, You never asked for my full name. What do you know about being in this prison?" An almost playful look flashed across her face but it was gone in an instant.

"Fair enough" Bucky chuckled slightly before leaning back on his hands. "Not too long ago I was a lot like you. Angry. Violent. Mixed up because of what someonelse did to me. Got put in here to protect everyone else. I think I've probably spent, in total, a year in that box" A dark, almost angry shadow appeared in his eyes before he blinked and it was gone.

"What did someonelse do to you?" [y/n] asked intrigued. She didn't want to trust the man in front of her but there was something about him. It seemed like he had an understanding of her. And whilst she wasn't about to let her guard down she wanted to understand. Herself. Him. Everything. She had gone from living in a HYRDA cell, beckoning to their destructive whims to being in a cell in another strange place. This one felt different though. Safe, almost. He felt safe.

"Uh-uh" Bucky mimicked playfully. "You answer, I answer, you answer"

"Fine. [l/n]" She sighed.

"[y/n l/n]" Bucky said causing [y/n] to give him a strange look. "What is it?"

"Tha- That's the first time anyone has said my name in a normal way in a long time" Sadness and anger laced her voice and she balled her hands into fists.

"It's a strange experience isn't it? It feels like you're dreaming? Like you're gonna wake up and whoever was yelling at you, hurting you, making you hurt people yesterday is gonna start yelling at you all over again? It probably doesn't feel like it now, sitting in this box, but you aren't going back there ever. HYRDA is your past" He promised.

 

* * *

 

 

A hand gripped Bucky's shoulder firmly, jolting him from his thoughts.

"We found her once Buck, we'll do it again" Steve said, sitting down next to Bucky in one of the living areas of the tower.

"I don't know how much more I can take Steve. It's nearly been a week. HYDRA has her and they wanted her alive. God knows what they're doing to her"

"I know. We're all as worried as you. Nat is practically pulling her hair out and we both know how tough she is. [y/n] is tough too. She's also like you. A survivor. We will find her and she will be ok"

Bucky nodded at Steve, choosing to ignore the slight uncertainty on his face.

"Sergeant Barnes, Captain Rogers, Mr Stark requires your presence in the laboratory. He has a possible location on Miss [l/n]" JARVIS suddenly said from above causing Bucky to nearly fall off of the sofa he and Steve were sat on, as he jumped up.

"Told you so" Steve said before following Bucky to the elavator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got way too carried away with the flash back opps. Annnd I think I messed up the timeline a bit so apologies if this is a mess? I cant tell anymore


	11. Found

"Turn it off! Tu-" Agent 18 barked as a wave of energy slammed her against the wall. [y/n] had lasted for around ten minutes before she had passed out. Once she was out the force fields had started; getting stronger as each one had passed. "Are you listening?! Turn it off now!" Crouching on the floor she turned to see the scientist who had been in room slumped on the floor, unconscious."дерьмо (Shit)" Staying low, she moved slowly towards [y/n], stopping where wires led from a bulky metal box to the chair. Grabbing a handful of wires she yanked hard disrupting the connection. Agent 18 paused for a moment to see if the fields had stopped. When she was confident they had passed she rose to her feet and moved in front of [y/n]. "Что это было? (What the hell was that?)" She angrily shouted before striking her across the face. As her hand made contact a final pulse of energy emitted from her sending Agent 18 slamming into the wall. The door of the room came flying off of its hinges and the shattering of glass and the buckling of wood was heard throughout the building.

 _Perimeter breach. Intruder alert. Perimeter breach._ A robotic voice echoed into the room through the now open doorway.

"You know I wish HYDRA would be more imaginative with their hideouts. How many more abandoned buildings in the middle of nowhere do we have to visit? Why don't they ever hole up somewhere nice? Tropical Islands in the middle of nowhere! That's the perfect super villain hideout" Tony rambled into his team mates ears as he patrolled the sky keeping an eye out for any HYRDA agents attempting to leave the base.  
"Do you ever stop talking Stark?" Natasha said into her comm as she and Clint climbed through a broken window frame, glass crunching under foot as the surveyed the room before entering the connecting hallway.  
"What? I'm just making an observation. Making some conversation. There's nothing to look at up here, you know it's wei-"  
"Stark" Bucky ground out a steely warning as he climbed through a window on the opposite side of the building.  
"No I'm actually being serious now. There's nobody around. We aren't exactly being stealth right now yet no one's shooting at us"  
"Stark, I'll shoot you myself if you don't shut up. Steve can you hear that? It's faint, sounds like an alarm" Bucky stopped in the middle of the small bare room and listened.  
"I hear it" Steve nodded. "It sounds like its underneath us. Stark can you access their security system from out there?"  
"JARVIS is working on it, give us a minute"  
"Access their surveillance system when you can see if anyone's in the building. Kill the alarm too"  
"Yes Sir Captain Sir"  
Steve rolled his eyes at Bucky, who was now crouching on the floor as he listened for the alarm to stop. After a moment he stood up nodding once at Steve.  
"Alarms off. Something weird's going on here guys. A lot of their feeds are down, I've got one hallway and that's it. And that hallway has two bodies and a couple of doors in the middle of it"  
"Bodies?" Steve asked carefully.  
"HYDRA. Looks like a bomb went off. I can't do much more out here I'm coming in"  
"Nat's found a way down" Clint said stepping through the doorway towards Bucky and Steve.  
"Come to Natasha's location" Steve said to Tony. Bucky was out of the room before Steve had even finished his sentence.

 

* * *

 

"Leave it to the spy to find the secret entrance" Tony quipped as they rode the elevator Natasha had discovered to the lower levels of the building.  
Natasha smirked as she positioned herself in front of the doors as the elevator came to stop at their destination. Training her gun on the door she waited for them to open ready to shoot anyone on the other side. Behind her Bucky, Clint, Steve and Tony had their various weapons ready. As the door opened she cautiously stepped through. When she was comfortable no one was around and there was no risk she lowered her weapon but didn't holster it.  
"See? I told you, weird" Tony said from behind her.  
"Okay. Barton, Stark you take the left, Nat centre. We'll go right" Steve said gesturing at Bucky at the end. "Follow it round as far as you can, check every door then circle back to here"

Bucky took point leading Steve to the right. Carefully stepping over broken doors and debris he cautiously stepped through the first doorway he came across. Seeing a body on the floor his gun flew up but relaxed when he quickly realised they weren't moving. He gave the body a small kick in the shoulder.  
"Dead" He said quietly. Turning he looked at Steve, who was glancing around the room. Computer screens where lined up along the wall but what ever force had killed the man and destroyed the doors had done the same to the screens.  
"You don't think...?" Steve asked not bringing himself to finish his question. Bucky nodded, pain flashing across his face.  
"If they managed to reprogram her, permanently, I don-"  
"We're gonna fix this Buck. Whatever has happened we'll fix it" Steve cut Bucky off.  
"I've found her. I've found her" Natasha's, almost happy voice crackled over their comms.  
"Is she alive?" Bucky questioned urgently.  
"Yes! Слава Богу (Thank god). She's unconscious and hooked up to something but yes. Five doors down from where we started"  
"Told you we'd find her" Steve placed his hand on Bucky's shoulder as he leaned over taking a shaky breath. "Lets go"

 

* * *

 

  
Bucky and Steve made it to the room in record time. Stepping in, the scene that was in front of them made Bucky see red. [Y/n] slumped over, hooked up to that god awful memory wiping machine. Almost stumbling forward he moved in front of her and dropped to his knees. Resting his metal hand on her knee he carefully moved his other hand up to cup her face gently.  
"Where's Stark? We need to get her out of this thing" Bucky said angrily over his shoulder.  
"Calm down Snow I'm he-" Tony trailed off as he appeared in the doorway and saw [y/n]. "Shit" Anger flashed over his face as he approached the machine and began inspecting it before speaking again. "Well the good news is, its completely fried"  
"Good" Bucky said before reaching up and ripping the metal clamps that were still touching your head off of the machine. Small burn marks were apparent on your temples causing him to swear under his breath as he dropped he metal. After he cut through each restraint he gently lowered you down onto his lap. He sat there hunched over you, cradling your body to his.  
"What's the bad news?" Steve asked carefully.  
"We're not going to know what damage has been done until we get her back to the tower. All this equipment is toast, I can't even recognise half of it"  
"These two aren't going to be much good either" Natasha said as she stood up, moving away from Agent 18's body.  
"Dead?" Bucky asked not taking his eyes off of you.  
"Yes"  
"Good" He carefully picked you up as he stood. "Let's go home"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever to update! Writers block and life not a fun combo! Hope its ok :)


End file.
